Asking for an address feels like it should take five seconds. Then you are three weeks in, holding half your list, and wondering whether "hey, send me your address" for the fourth time sounds rude.
It doesn't have to be awkward. The trick is to ask once, clearly, in a way that is easy to answer, and to have a kind nudge ready for the people who forget. Below is how to ask for addresses for your wedding, plus 12 texts you can copy, paste and send today.
Before you ask
Three small things make every message below work better:
- Finish your guest list first. Once you ask someone for their address, they will assume they are invited.
- Ask one person per household. One text to a couple, not two, so you don't get the same address twice.
- Send a link, not a question. "Reply with your address" scatters answers across a dozen chats. A link where guests type it in themselves keeps everything in one list. A free address collector does this, and so does a simple form.
In every text below, swap [link] for your own address link. If you'd rather not use a link, replace that line with "Could you text me your mailing address?"
Say why you're asking
People answer faster when they know what is coming. "We're mailing save the dates" is a reason. "Need your address" is a chore. Mention the wedding, the date if you have it, and when you need the answer.
Texts for close family
1. Parents, siblings, the people who already know
Hi! We're getting our save the dates ready and want to make sure yours goes to the right place. Can you pop your address in here? [link] Takes a minute. Love you!
2. Grandparents and older relatives
For guests who don't like forms, call or ask a parent to help. If you do text:
Hi Grandma! We're mailing our wedding save the dates soon and I want to be sure we have your address right. Could you text it back to me when you have a moment? Can't wait to celebrate with you.
3. A message to your parents about their side
Hi Mom, could you help me get addresses for your side of the family? Here's the link guests can fill in themselves: [link]. Could you send it to the aunts and cousins, or send me any addresses you already have? We'd love them by [date].
Texts for friends
4. One friend
We're officially sending save the dates! Where should yours go? Drop your address here: [link]
5. The group chat
Okay friends, save the dates are coming. Please put your address in here so yours doesn't get lost: [link]. First one in gets a shoutout at the wedding.
6. A friend and their partner
We'd love to send a save the date to you and [partner]! Can one of you add your address here? [link]. It has room for both of your names, so we get the envelope right.
Texts for everyone else
7. Coworkers and friends you don't text often
Hi [name]! We're getting married next [season] and would love to have you there. We're mailing save the dates soon. Could you share your mailing address here? [link]
8. A plus-one you haven't met
Ask your friend, not their partner, unless you already talk:
Hi! We'd love to include [partner's name] on the envelope. Could you add both your names and your address here? [link]. And how does [partner] spell their name?
9. A private message on social media
Hi! It's been too long. We're getting married and would love to send you a save the date. If you're happy to share your address, you can add it here: [link]
Emails
10. One email to many guests
Subject: Where should we send your save the date?
Hi everyone,
We're getting married on [date] in [place], and we're getting ready to mail our save the dates!
Please add your mailing address here by [date]: [link]
It takes about a minute, and you can update it later if you move. Thank you, and we can't wait to celebrate with you.
[Your names]
Blind copy (BCC) everyone, so nobody sees the whole list.
Gentle reminders
Some people will forget. That is normal, and a second ask is not rude.
11. The friendly nudge, about a week later
Hi! Just bumping this in case it got buried. Save the dates go out on [date]: [link]
12. The last call
Last call for save the date addresses! We're mailing on [date] and I'd hate for yours to get lost. [link]. If it's easier, just text it to me.
After two reminders, pick up the phone or ask a mutual friend. Some people simply never read group texts.
Keep the answers in one place
The hardest part of asking is not the asking. It is the 40 replies spread across texts, emails and voicemails. A link fixes that: every answer lands in one list.
With the PlanSeats address collector, guests open a page with your photo and names, type their address with search filling it in, and see their envelope come together as they go. Each response lands in your guest list, and you can see who you are still waiting on. Collecting addresses is free, with no limit on guests.
Related: The best way to collect addresses for your wedding →
When to ask
Ask about two to three months before your save the dates go out, then send a reminder a week later and a last call a week before you mail. Wondering when save the dates go out at all? Our save the date timeline has the lead times, and how to get addresses for save the dates has a week-by-week plan.
Make your address link with PlanSeats →
Collecting addresses is free, with no limit on guests.